It's been so long since I've written anything that I'm not sure where to start! My life has changed so much in such a short amount of time that it doesn't feel as though I could begin to sum it all up. Yet, I know I must begin somewhere, as I don't want to miss the opportunity to build alters that tell of what the Lord is doing in my life.
In Genesis 12, every time the Lord gave Abram direction, Abram built an alter to Him as a rememberance and an offering....and that is what I want this blog to be. In the past I always wrote so my children would have a piece of history....penned by their mothers own hand. And...it will always be that for them. However, I also want this blog to be a reminder to myself that the Lord has been my Rock, Provider, Redeemer, Husband, and Deliverer. In those moments when I question the road I am on and wonder if God has really called me to full time ministry...I can visit these alters and know, without a doubt, God has beckoned me to walk down this road.
Lord....accept this blog as an alter to you.....an offering of gratitude!
"I bring an offering Of worship to my King No one on earth deserves The praises that I sing Jesus may you receive The honor that You're due O Lord, I bring an offering to you I bring an offering to you"
Monday, December 21, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
In The Zone
God calls us to change. No question about it. When you find Christ, God immediately begins ridding you of the things that don't resemble the qualities of Christ.
If you let Him.
I was eager to give Him my anger, my pride, my jealousy.....all of the things that would make my life 'easier' if they would go away. Who wants to be angry or prideful or jealous? All of those things lead to bigger, uglier things in our lives. They are obvious stumbling blocks.
BUT....what about when God wants to do something in our lives that makes us uncomfortable? What about when the change isn't something that 'appears' to be hurting us? What about when He calls us to reach out to somebody that we just aren't comfortable reaching out to? Somebody who is maybe a little different than ourselves. Somebody who 'rubs' us the wrong way? What do we do when that somebody wants to infiltrate our little circle of friends? Do we embrace them with the Love that Christ has shown us? Do we extend that Grace even when we know we may have to spend time with someone who makes us uncomfortable? It pains me to say that more often than not.....I don't.
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations......"
Matthew 28:18
We love to go to faraway places and help those who are less fortunate. We offer food to the hungry, money to the poor, and wells to the thirsty. We adopt children from other countries and bring them to America or send money, monthly, to children who already have parents, but live in a place where they will never have anything. Every single one of those acts pleases Christ when done with a right heart. And....every single one of those acts makes us feel good. But....what about when God calls us to spend time with that person whose personality just doesn't 'mesh' with ours? Are we still willing to be so obedient when living the 'Great Commission' doesn't feel so good?
Jesus hung out with a lot of people during His time on earth. There were so many different personalities around Him constantly! Even His disciples, who all loved Him and wanted to follow Him, all had different personalities. No wonder He frequently went off by Himself and prayed. Notice the Bible doesn't have all of Jesus' prayers in it? I have always thought it was because of the intimacy of those prayers between the Father and the Son. But..now I'm beginning to wonder if Jesus was praying something like:
'Father, I know you placed Judas in my life because He is part of Your plan, too....
BUT he is sooooo greedy. It's all about him. He only cares about money and frankly
I just don't think he gets what being a follower of mine is all about!!!'
I know that the One who calls me to be more like Him, would never ask me to do something He hasn't already done. He asks me to extend Grace to those He puts in my path, despite the personality differences, because He extends it to me. He calls me to love those that are hard for me to love because He loves them. He calls me out of my comfort zone because He gave up the Throne of Heaven to dwell among us. His entire life, here on earth, was 'out of His comfort zone'.
I have been convicted. He beckons me to reach out. Not just to a lost world, a hungry child, or a homeless man/woman, but to my brothers and sisters in Christ who may look and act a little different than me. Those who may make me a little uncomfortable because God had the audacity to gift them with a personality unlike my own.
Thank you, Lord for making each one of us unique. Help me learn to step outside my 'circle of friends', embrace differences, and most of all.........make my comfort zone....uncomfortable!!!!!!!!
If you let Him.
I was eager to give Him my anger, my pride, my jealousy.....all of the things that would make my life 'easier' if they would go away. Who wants to be angry or prideful or jealous? All of those things lead to bigger, uglier things in our lives. They are obvious stumbling blocks.
BUT....what about when God wants to do something in our lives that makes us uncomfortable? What about when the change isn't something that 'appears' to be hurting us? What about when He calls us to reach out to somebody that we just aren't comfortable reaching out to? Somebody who is maybe a little different than ourselves. Somebody who 'rubs' us the wrong way? What do we do when that somebody wants to infiltrate our little circle of friends? Do we embrace them with the Love that Christ has shown us? Do we extend that Grace even when we know we may have to spend time with someone who makes us uncomfortable? It pains me to say that more often than not.....I don't.
As Christians, we are all about living the 'Great Commission':
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations......"
Matthew 28:18
We love to go to faraway places and help those who are less fortunate. We offer food to the hungry, money to the poor, and wells to the thirsty. We adopt children from other countries and bring them to America or send money, monthly, to children who already have parents, but live in a place where they will never have anything. Every single one of those acts pleases Christ when done with a right heart. And....every single one of those acts makes us feel good. But....what about when God calls us to spend time with that person whose personality just doesn't 'mesh' with ours? Are we still willing to be so obedient when living the 'Great Commission' doesn't feel so good?
Jesus hung out with a lot of people during His time on earth. There were so many different personalities around Him constantly! Even His disciples, who all loved Him and wanted to follow Him, all had different personalities. No wonder He frequently went off by Himself and prayed. Notice the Bible doesn't have all of Jesus' prayers in it? I have always thought it was because of the intimacy of those prayers between the Father and the Son. But..now I'm beginning to wonder if Jesus was praying something like:
'Father, I know you placed Judas in my life because He is part of Your plan, too....
BUT he is sooooo greedy. It's all about him. He only cares about money and frankly
I just don't think he gets what being a follower of mine is all about!!!'
I know that the One who calls me to be more like Him, would never ask me to do something He hasn't already done. He asks me to extend Grace to those He puts in my path, despite the personality differences, because He extends it to me. He calls me to love those that are hard for me to love because He loves them. He calls me out of my comfort zone because He gave up the Throne of Heaven to dwell among us. His entire life, here on earth, was 'out of His comfort zone'.
I have been convicted. He beckons me to reach out. Not just to a lost world, a hungry child, or a homeless man/woman, but to my brothers and sisters in Christ who may look and act a little different than me. Those who may make me a little uncomfortable because God had the audacity to gift them with a personality unlike my own.
Thank you, Lord for making each one of us unique. Help me learn to step outside my 'circle of friends', embrace differences, and most of all.........make my comfort zone....uncomfortable!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Still Learning...
Jordan really struggles with math! She has had a really hard time learning multiplication and now we are working on division. She is a couple of grades behind on math, but I'm not in a panic...yet. I realize that someday it's just going to click with her. However.........
Knowing that she will get it someday does not ease my frustration with her today. It seems like everyday I have to show her how to do the same thing over and over. She gets it one day and the next......she has forgotten. Some days it just drives me crazy!
Today, I find myself wondering.....
Does my lack of being able to learn something, after He has tried to teach me over and over again, frustrate God?
It seems that God has to continually teach me the same things over and over and over. I wonder if God is sitting up there saying things like:
"Come on Heather! We just went over this last week!"
"Don't you remember when I dealt with your pride last time and you said you got it this time?"
"Really? You're struggling with that anger issue again? How many times are we going to go through this???"
The thought of it almost makes me chuckle. Almost. The truth is.....I am a sloooooowww learner. There are issues that God has been trying to rid me of for the past 8 years and I am STILL trying to learn them. I guess I need to cut my daughter some slack when she can't remember to bring down the 2. She has only been learning division for a couple of months;)
Thank you Lord for being the most patient teacher and for allowing me the opportunity to teach my children at home. Fill me with Your Spirit as I instruct my children in Your ways. OH....and please help Jo to learn division faster than I learn my lessons........because 8 years of division might just cause me to lose it!
Knowing that she will get it someday does not ease my frustration with her today. It seems like everyday I have to show her how to do the same thing over and over. She gets it one day and the next......she has forgotten. Some days it just drives me crazy!
Today, I find myself wondering.....
Does my lack of being able to learn something, after He has tried to teach me over and over again, frustrate God?
It seems that God has to continually teach me the same things over and over and over. I wonder if God is sitting up there saying things like:
"Come on Heather! We just went over this last week!"
"Don't you remember when I dealt with your pride last time and you said you got it this time?"
"Really? You're struggling with that anger issue again? How many times are we going to go through this???"
The thought of it almost makes me chuckle. Almost. The truth is.....I am a sloooooowww learner. There are issues that God has been trying to rid me of for the past 8 years and I am STILL trying to learn them. I guess I need to cut my daughter some slack when she can't remember to bring down the 2. She has only been learning division for a couple of months;)
Thank you Lord for being the most patient teacher and for allowing me the opportunity to teach my children at home. Fill me with Your Spirit as I instruct my children in Your ways. OH....and please help Jo to learn division faster than I learn my lessons........because 8 years of division might just cause me to lose it!
I'm Accepted.....
Around a month ago I received a phone call from the admissions guy at Crown College....where I had applied to become a student in the fall. He was calling to let me know that the reason it was taking so long to process my app is because they have to get 'special permission' for me to attend. My heart began to sink as I knew what he would say next.
In high school I wasn't exactly a great student. OK..that may be a slight understatement. I was an awful student. At one point, my GPA was .69. No, that wasn't a typo. I cared much more about hanging with my friends and partying than I did getting my school work done. I graduated by the skin of my teeth and now it was coming back to haunt me.
Admissions guy told me it would probably be a couple of weeks until he could get a hold of head guy that needs to OK my admission. So, I would probably have to wait for a month until I heard anything. I got off the phone with admissions guy a little worried. However, God quickly reminded me Who is in charge. I sent up a prayer and decided that if this is truly God's Will then there will not be a problem.
Two weeks later........I received my acceptance letter:) It's conditional. I have to take at least 12 credits per semester and I have to maintain a 2.0 GPA. I'm going to college!!!!!
I am still waiting to hear from financial aid. I have to admit....I'm nervous. I am needing financial aid to come through in a HUGE way! BUT.....I know Who is in charge and I'm placing it in His hands.
In high school I wasn't exactly a great student. OK..that may be a slight understatement. I was an awful student. At one point, my GPA was .69. No, that wasn't a typo. I cared much more about hanging with my friends and partying than I did getting my school work done. I graduated by the skin of my teeth and now it was coming back to haunt me.
Admissions guy told me it would probably be a couple of weeks until he could get a hold of head guy that needs to OK my admission. So, I would probably have to wait for a month until I heard anything. I got off the phone with admissions guy a little worried. However, God quickly reminded me Who is in charge. I sent up a prayer and decided that if this is truly God's Will then there will not be a problem.
Two weeks later........I received my acceptance letter:) It's conditional. I have to take at least 12 credits per semester and I have to maintain a 2.0 GPA. I'm going to college!!!!!
I am still waiting to hear from financial aid. I have to admit....I'm nervous. I am needing financial aid to come through in a HUGE way! BUT.....I know Who is in charge and I'm placing it in His hands.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
And...The Rotten Blogger Award Goes To........ME
I have been a horrible blogger...I know. I apologize. It's not like I haven't had anything to say.........I just haven't felt like saying it. There have been SO many things going on that I'm not even sure where to start. However, I do know that if I don't start now, I may never start again. So, let me start with this:
I am WELL! Finally. It was a very long haul. I did not bounce back the way I thought/expected/hoped I would. I had a not-so-nice reaction to my steroids that left me in a lot of pain and not able to do much at a time when I really needed to be doing many things. To say it was frustrating is an understatement. It wasn't until mid-April that I really felt good. Being down for almost two months is just not me! I am trusting that God knew what He was doing:)
I am down to my last week of work. I can't believe it! I remember telling my boss in early February that I would be leaving May 1st. I really thought the time was dragging along, but now that it's actually my last week....I think it went pretty fast. I am anxious to end my time here and begin this new chapter in my life. I won't start school until August (if I am accepted....still waiting to hear) so I plan on spending some quality time with my girls and my son this summer. We are really behind on our homeschooling, so it looks like the majority of our summer will be spent doing that. What a blessing!
There are so many little details I am going to spare you from. Like the fact that we have had 2 garage sales, I am still in between homes as we wait for the attic in my parents house to be finished, I have approximately 4 outfits that I can access right now, and I can't find anything. Each of those sentences could be an entire blog post. I won't even go there.
Thank you for checking in with me and I'm sorry I haven't been good at keeping you updated. I hope to blog more now that things are settling down. OK....things aren't really settling down, but I DO hope to blog more:)
I am WELL! Finally. It was a very long haul. I did not bounce back the way I thought/expected/hoped I would. I had a not-so-nice reaction to my steroids that left me in a lot of pain and not able to do much at a time when I really needed to be doing many things. To say it was frustrating is an understatement. It wasn't until mid-April that I really felt good. Being down for almost two months is just not me! I am trusting that God knew what He was doing:)
I am down to my last week of work. I can't believe it! I remember telling my boss in early February that I would be leaving May 1st. I really thought the time was dragging along, but now that it's actually my last week....I think it went pretty fast. I am anxious to end my time here and begin this new chapter in my life. I won't start school until August (if I am accepted....still waiting to hear) so I plan on spending some quality time with my girls and my son this summer. We are really behind on our homeschooling, so it looks like the majority of our summer will be spent doing that. What a blessing!
There are so many little details I am going to spare you from. Like the fact that we have had 2 garage sales, I am still in between homes as we wait for the attic in my parents house to be finished, I have approximately 4 outfits that I can access right now, and I can't find anything. Each of those sentences could be an entire blog post. I won't even go there.
Thank you for checking in with me and I'm sorry I haven't been good at keeping you updated. I hope to blog more now that things are settling down. OK....things aren't really settling down, but I DO hope to blog more:)
Monday, March 2, 2009
Maybe I Need To Slow Down?
Apparently, God has decided that I need a little Sabbatical. I have been stretching myself a bit too far. I Knew it. Refused to change it. Neglected the warnings of my body, not to mention the voice of my Lord and now........
I'm on Sabbatical.
At the hospital.
Since Wednesday.
Seriously.
I've had this bronchial thing since the end of September. You may remember me whining about missing the Joyce Meyer conference? Yea. Well, I went to the ER a couple of times between September and December, they put me on some steroids and finally by Christmas I was feeling pretty good again. However, I don't think I ever bounced back 100%. BUT.......life is life and it really doesn't slow down just because one (such as me) doesn't feel good. So, I have just kept pushing through. Ignoring the warning signs. Ahem.
After an exhausting weekend at Dare2Share with the teens (more about that awesome time later:) and a long 8 hour day at church on Sunday, I had planned to spend Monday evening relaxing. However, something came up that I had been putting off and with that time slot open, I quickly filled the space. By Tuesday evening, I could feel my body begin to give way to what seemed like a little cold. My body was achy, my head was hurting, I had some chills, and my lungs were a little tight. Since I am a seasoned pro in the Asthma arena, I decided to do a Nebulizer treatment as a precaution. I was hoping to break up anything that may have decided to lurk deep within. But....nothing. My cough was dry, no breathing problems. Seemed as though bed was the best option.
I woke up on Wednesday feeling lousy. My lungs were hurting a bit, but nothing major. I took a quick puff of my albuterol inhaler, called the boss to let him know I would be in around noon (thinking I would feel better then), and went back to sleep until about 8:30am. When I woke then.....I knew there was a problem. I wasn't breathing well. I did a Nebulizer treatment. Relief.....for about 10 mins. Took a shower. Did another treatment back to back. Nothing. Called the doc.
My appt was at 11:15am on Wednesday. By the time I reached the docs office, my oxygen level was 85. He looked at me for about 3.2 seconds before sending me to the ER. I remained there until approximately 3pm when they admitted me to ICU.
Where I am currently residing.
Still.
I had a lot of activities scheduled this week that I was really looking forward to. Wednesday night was our Experiential Worship Night with the youth and I was anxious to spend that time with them since returning from Dare2Share. My girls were singing Friday night at church, we were introducing our new Sunday School curriculum (that we picked up at Dare2Share) to the Jr/Sr High teens, and Sunday night was the Winter Wonder Jam with Tobey Mac, Brandon Heath, and Hawke Nelson. And guess what!?
I missed it.
All of it.
I even tried to get a 'furlow' to leave the hospital for a few hours on Friday night. Nope. Didn't work.
What began as an overnight observation has turned into a lesson in being still. It's not a new lesson. As a matter of fact, I believe God and I were just working on this together over the summer. However, as He knows and I have always said....I am a slow learner.
My girlfriend dropped of a book she felt 'led' to give me to read. It's called "Be Anxious for Nothing" by Joyce Meyer. I chuckled when she handed it to me because she knew how much I wanted to be 'on the go' this week. Last night, I took a little turn for the worse and began to feel very frustrated. My friend, Connie, sent me a text to let me know she was praying for me. I expressed my frustration to which she simply texted back 'Phil 4 7'. She was not aware of the book.
Yea. He's funny.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
I'm on Sabbatical.
At the hospital.
Since Wednesday.
Seriously.
I've had this bronchial thing since the end of September. You may remember me whining about missing the Joyce Meyer conference? Yea. Well, I went to the ER a couple of times between September and December, they put me on some steroids and finally by Christmas I was feeling pretty good again. However, I don't think I ever bounced back 100%. BUT.......life is life and it really doesn't slow down just because one (such as me) doesn't feel good. So, I have just kept pushing through. Ignoring the warning signs. Ahem.
After an exhausting weekend at Dare2Share with the teens (more about that awesome time later:) and a long 8 hour day at church on Sunday, I had planned to spend Monday evening relaxing. However, something came up that I had been putting off and with that time slot open, I quickly filled the space. By Tuesday evening, I could feel my body begin to give way to what seemed like a little cold. My body was achy, my head was hurting, I had some chills, and my lungs were a little tight. Since I am a seasoned pro in the Asthma arena, I decided to do a Nebulizer treatment as a precaution. I was hoping to break up anything that may have decided to lurk deep within. But....nothing. My cough was dry, no breathing problems. Seemed as though bed was the best option.
I woke up on Wednesday feeling lousy. My lungs were hurting a bit, but nothing major. I took a quick puff of my albuterol inhaler, called the boss to let him know I would be in around noon (thinking I would feel better then), and went back to sleep until about 8:30am. When I woke then.....I knew there was a problem. I wasn't breathing well. I did a Nebulizer treatment. Relief.....for about 10 mins. Took a shower. Did another treatment back to back. Nothing. Called the doc.
My appt was at 11:15am on Wednesday. By the time I reached the docs office, my oxygen level was 85. He looked at me for about 3.2 seconds before sending me to the ER. I remained there until approximately 3pm when they admitted me to ICU.
Where I am currently residing.
Still.
I had a lot of activities scheduled this week that I was really looking forward to. Wednesday night was our Experiential Worship Night with the youth and I was anxious to spend that time with them since returning from Dare2Share. My girls were singing Friday night at church, we were introducing our new Sunday School curriculum (that we picked up at Dare2Share) to the Jr/Sr High teens, and Sunday night was the Winter Wonder Jam with Tobey Mac, Brandon Heath, and Hawke Nelson. And guess what!?
I missed it.
All of it.
I even tried to get a 'furlow' to leave the hospital for a few hours on Friday night. Nope. Didn't work.
What began as an overnight observation has turned into a lesson in being still. It's not a new lesson. As a matter of fact, I believe God and I were just working on this together over the summer. However, as He knows and I have always said....I am a slow learner.
My girlfriend dropped of a book she felt 'led' to give me to read. It's called "Be Anxious for Nothing" by Joyce Meyer. I chuckled when she handed it to me because she knew how much I wanted to be 'on the go' this week. Last night, I took a little turn for the worse and began to feel very frustrated. My friend, Connie, sent me a text to let me know she was praying for me. I expressed my frustration to which she simply texted back 'Phil 4 7'. She was not aware of the book.
Yea. He's funny.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Dare 2 Share
Tomorrow, February 20th, I, and 2 other leaders, get the priviledge of accompanying 11 youth to the Dare2Share conference in Lincoln, Nebraska. I. AM. PUMPED. Seriously! If you have never seen these guys, please check out their website. They have such an amazing way of presenting the Gospel and challenging us to spread the Word. They are gifted beyond belief and I can't wait to see how God moves in the lives of the kids who are going. (OK.....in us 'adults', too:)
Also, I can't wait to spend some quality time with these kids! Some of the kids that are going, we only get to see once a week at youth group. It will be great to get to know them better. Others, we know a little better and it will be fun just to connect with them outside of youth group.
There isn't a lot of spiritual 'depth' to the kids who are going, so I am really praying that God will penetrate their hearts deeply. Often, when youth come back from a conference they are gung-ho, but it's short lived. They are on that spiritual high that goes as fast as it comes. I am praying that this will be different. I am praying that there will be some 'real' conversions this weekend!
What a blessing to be able to be a part of these kids' spiritual journey.....no matter where it leads!
Also, I can't wait to spend some quality time with these kids! Some of the kids that are going, we only get to see once a week at youth group. It will be great to get to know them better. Others, we know a little better and it will be fun just to connect with them outside of youth group.
There isn't a lot of spiritual 'depth' to the kids who are going, so I am really praying that God will penetrate their hearts deeply. Often, when youth come back from a conference they are gung-ho, but it's short lived. They are on that spiritual high that goes as fast as it comes. I am praying that this will be different. I am praying that there will be some 'real' conversions this weekend!
What a blessing to be able to be a part of these kids' spiritual journey.....no matter where it leads!
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