Monday, June 23, 2014

You Call Me Out Upon The Waters...

On June 13, 2014 my sweet girl left home...headed for Santiago, Dominican Republic.
This mama's heart was nervous. As my previous posts can attest...I have had to let go a lot lately. But, this was different. This was out of the country. This was not in the 'Art of Letting Go' booklet I had been perusing.

They had been planning it for about a year. Fundraising. Planning. Talking. Shots. Bible Study. Passport. Yet, somehow it had not quite sunk in that they were leaving the country. Until the Sunday before they left...when our church gathered and prayed for them.
Suddenly, it became very real to me and panic began to set in.

Here's the thing...I trust God. I am all about being open to wherever God leads. But, throughout the entire planning process I had an uneasy feeling. I didn't want her to go. At first, I thought it was about the money. I didn't think we could raise enough money for her to go. But, every time I decided that she just wouldn't be able to go...I would pray and God would show up in amazing ways. At one point, after praying and telling God I didn't think she would be able to go and that if He wanted her to go He was going to have to just bring the money....a woman from church approached me and said "I want her to be able to go on this trip--I'm willing to put in however much she is short to make it happen." Then, she wrote me a substantial check to get her started. This happened just a few hours after my prayer. WHAT?!?! OK, Lord.

So, it wasn't the money. It must have been her leaving the country. But, after the group departed I realized it may not be about that either.

As soon as they departed...I had peace. And, throughout the week she was gone...I had peace. What I came to realize was that the fear and the anxiety I had been feeling was the work of the enemy...and, the knowing that I may never really get my girl back.

God made it clear that this girl was supposed to go. As a matter of fact, God made it clear this entire team was supposed to go. I knew that. So did Satan. The doubt and fear creeping in was no accident and if I had not prayed to God and allowed Him to reveal His desire to me--if I had chosen to just tell her she couldn't go--I would have interfered in His plan for her and this team. I am so thankful that my spiritual gift is faith and I exercise it often.

This girl came back changed.
I just spent the last couple of hours sitting on the porch listening to my girl share her journal and her heart for the people of the Dominican Republic...and all over the world. Here are some of her words....

 "It's just so different. I love was an indescribable feeling. I feel scared of my passion, though!...I love being here! I want to stay so badly. I want to submerse myself in their culture. There is so much more to learn and so little time to do so. I want to travel so much. I want to learn about every single culture in the world. I want to love them and see how they worship God. I want to help them and care for them. This trip has been so comfortable. And, yet, I have been so out of my comfort zone...and yet, still comfortable."

I have always known this girls heart was special. She is quick to forgive. Never holds a grudge. Loves unconditionally. Stands up for the underdog. Seeks out the loners. Puts others before herself. Loves like Jesus.

I think deep in my heart I knew that when she went--she would want to go back. And, she does. She wants to intern with Envision next year for several months. And, this may only be the beginning. I believe God is calling this girl to the mission field. Maybe overseas. Maybe here. But, He is calling. He has been preparing her. And, He has been preparing me.

Lord, I pray you would take this girl wherever you need/want her to go. I pray the fear of her passion would subside and that she would lean into You and let You lead. And, if you could help me to let go...again...that would be great :)

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"

Oceans-Hillsong United