Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Dear Eddie....

Do you know that her best friend is Victoria? Vic is one of the very few people that she opens up to completely.
Do you know that kids flock to her? Not just kids she knows, but all kids, random kids in grocery stores.
Do you know that she wants to work with kids? No. Not teaching. She wants to be a children's pastor.
Do you know she is afraid to tell you that because she is afraid you will make fun of her or make her feel as though she is a disappointment?
Do you know that every time she looks at a picture from her 8th birthday she points out the fact that you told her she looked "pregnant" in that dress?
Do you know that your daughter feels like she is second, sometimes third and fourth, in your life?
Do you know that she has cried herself to sleep after getting off the phone with you?
Do you know that she believes that you feel as though she is a "mistake"?
Do you know that her favorite color is purple?
Do you know that she has a great sense of humor?
Do you know that all she has ever tried to do is please you? Even if it meant not being herself!
Do you know that she will spend the rest of her life trying to undo the damage you have done?

Do you know that he is excelling in C.A.P.? He has promoted every 8 weeks and that is very rarely done!
Do you know that he is a hard worker and comes in whenever they call him?
Do you know that he is completely in love with his new nephew and totally spoils him?
Do you know that he loves kids and will be an incredible daddy someday?
Do you know that he has an awesome sense of humor?
Do you know that he loves playing online video games and would love to play with you?
Do you know that choosing to stay with me was one of the hardest decisions he has made?
Do you know that he almost chose to go to USC just because you wanted him to and he wanted to make you happy?
Do you know that when you told him he was no longer your son that it broke his heart?
Do you know that he hates it when you treat him like he is the favorite child?

Do you know that neither one of your kids ever wanted money from you? They simply wanted their dad to love them and be proud of them. Do you know that neither one of them feels that from you?

These are the things that I want to say to you, but can't. It is no longer my place. Our children are adults and this is their battle. The sad thing is....if you were to read this list you wouldn't feel bad, apologize to them or try to change. Instead, you would allow it to be an excuse to cut them out of your life for good. And, I will not give you that excuse!

Lord, You know my heart--and it is hurting for my kiddos. I am thankful that they have a Father in Heaven who loves them no matter what. Every child deserves that kind of unconditional love. Please help Eddie to grow up and be the parent that You have called him to be. And, help me, too. I certainly have made my own share of mistakes. It is only because of You that I am the parent I am today...and I still have lots of work. I pray Eddie finds You, Lord. In the name of Jesus Christ....I pray. Amen....

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

May 22, 2011

Welcome to the world......
Brenden Hal Rodgers
Born at 7:27pm
5lbs 11oz
19.8 in

After being born at 34 weeks, this sweet little guy spent a week in the N.I.C.U. at the Nebraska Medical Center. He was expected to be there for at least a month, but God had other plans!

So many intimate moments to share......soon!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

May 14th, 2011

It was harder than I anticipated. The culmination of 18 years welled up in my eyes as I watched the PowerPoint share the story of my baby boy becoming a man. And, once again I wondered....where has the time gone?

I glanced over at him throughout the ceremony. His chiseled face and tall stature scarcely resembled the little boy I once held in my arms. But every now and then he would smile and I would catch a glimpse of that sweet, baby boy--and I would feel the sting of tears once more.

I knew this graduation would be harder. Not because I love Josh any more than I love Samantha, but because I understand that my time with this child is limited. I know that within a year my little boy will no longer be mine to hold, but will belong to the United States Marine Corps--and in this world, in this time of war, I understand that every moment is precious. However....I also understand that this boy was never truly mine. He was, is, and will always belong to God and it is into His hands alone that I will release him.

My prayer for you, my son, is that you will fall in love with Jesus Christ the way He loves you. I pray that you will know and understand, to the best of a human beings knowledge, the depth and breadth of His love. I pray that you truly believe "The task ahead of you is never greater than the Power behind you." I pray that regardless of where you go, or what you do, you understand that God is always with you and that even when you drift far from Him...He is always waiting for you to return. I pray that despite being in the Marines and having a chain of command to report to, that you understand your true Commanding Officer is Jesus Christ...and that you report to HIM daily.

Finally, it is my prayer that you know that I love you more than words could ever express. Raising you has been an honor and a privilege and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world.

Lord, thank You for this boy! I pray that I have raised him in a way that has honored You...even though I know there were plenty of times my attitude, heart and mouth did nothing of the sort. I pray that no matter which roads he travels he will ultimately travel the road that leads back to You! Please watch over him and protect him, Lord. In the name of Jesus...Amen