Wednesday, April 14, 2010

31 Days

In 31 days my little girl will graduate.

As I purchase graduation announcements, take Senior pictures, construct a schedule, prepare my speech, and work on various meaningless tasks--I find that I am distancing myself from the true meaning of that day as much as possible. I am attempting to get lost in these trivial details so that the full magnitude of what is going to take place does not hit me.....

In 31 days my little girl will graduate.

I have the privilege of watching a little girl on Wednesday evenings and she loves to listen to music on my laptop. Tonight I decided to play some songs from The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. Almost instantly I could feel the emotion well up within me and I fought to hold back tears as images of my little girl flooded my mind. It was as if I had been transported to another place and time--15 years ago--when she would twirl with her apron, basket, and book pretending to be Belle or jump up with extended arms to mock Ariel while singing "Part of Your World". Suddenly, my head was reeling with the thought......

In 31 days my little girl will graduate.

Where has the time gone? I know it seems like the million dollar question, but I mean it. Where has it gone? How did we get here? I feel like there is so much I still want to teach her, yet I find myself constantly amazed at how much she knows. She is so far ahead of where I was at that age that I wonder what in the world I could possibly teach her. The simple truth is--I'm going to miss her. While she is my 'little girl' she is also my friend. I enjoy our late night talks and the way I can always count on her to go somewhere with me--even if it is just to the gas station. I love that she waits up for me to get home if I am out late and that she always kisses me goodbye--even if I am sleeping and don't know it. She is one of my best friends and I can't imagine not seeing her every day. I always knew this day would come and I knew it would come quick. Every seasoned parent is fast to let you know how quickly time flies. But......

In 31 days my little girl will graduate.

And nothing could prepare my heart to let her go. I am trusting that God will give me every ounce of strength when the time comes, but for now I am going to be selfish a while longer.