Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Dropping My Net. Part 2

For the past couple of years I have had the feeling that God is preparing me for a big change. I have been discontent in my job, yearning to stay home with my kids, and extremely passionate about working with teens. However, no matter how strong these desires were or how discontent I have been with my job, I have stayed put. Feet planted. Stubbornly? I don't think so. Fearfully? definitely. Not fearful of change (well, maybe a little;), but more fearful of being out of God's will for my life. I've been there before and I gotta say.....it's not pretty! Plus, to be completely honest, I just couldn't figure out how in the world I was going to be able to quit my job and stay home with my children. I thought God had given me the answer in this post, but after everything our family went through with Amber, well, I just couldn't go there again. At least, not right now.

As the New Year began I made a promise to God. Not a resolution that was meant to be broke, but a promise that.......I would follow wherever He leads. I would give up anything He asked me to. I would 'drop my net' so to speak and follow Jesus. I knew 3 things for sure: 1) I was to quit my job 2) I was to stay home with my children 3) I am to work with the youth. I couldn't imagine how this was going to happen. However, God did whisper a few words of encouragement.....something along the lines of......."Nothing is going to happen if you never step out and trust me." Ahem. OK. Sooooooo....maybe He had a point.

I set May as my deadline for quitting my job. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew that I couldn't do anything else while working 40 hours a week. I planned to get a part time job in May, but I have to be honest....I just couldn't figure out how it would work. I am struggling to make it right now, working full time. I decided not to worry about it and handed that part over to the One it belongs to. God has been extremely faithful in providing for our family. I knew He would make this happen. I also filled out a FAFSA (student grant/loan) application so I could begin online classes in June. Then, I layed everything in His hands. I didn't know when and I couldn't have imagined how, but I knew He would provide.

Last Monday I received a phone call from my daughters paternal grandparents. Their business' have not been doing well and they called to tell me that they would have to sell my house. I was devastated. The tears began to flow as I thought about the memories we have built in that home. Where are we going to live? What are we going to do? I called my folks and told them and sent out a prayer request to my small group. We had to be out of the house by March 31st. That gave me right around 2 months to find a place and move.....in the worst part of winter.

As I began to wallow in self pity, I received an email from my mom. She gently, lovingly reminded me of the prayers I had been praying to God. She told me that her and my dad had been talking and that they had a plan to make room for the kiddo's and I to stay with them. Since I would have no bills, this would allow me to quit my job, stay home with my kiddo's, and go to school. The tears began to flow again. This time, in awe of my God Who had been patiently waiting for me to drop my net and truly follow Him.

The other day, a friend from church stopped by the office. She wanted to get auto insurance for her son. As we chatted, I told her that I planned on leaving the insurance company in May. Turns out that she is in need of a personal assistant.....starting in May. The work will be part time and the biggest majority of it.....I will be able to do from home. I gave my notice to my boss a couple of days ago and plan on April 30th being my last day.

I am still sad about losing the house that I have loved for so long. However, the joy of being able to fulfill God's will for my life is far outweighing the sadness. He is teaching me to let go of the temporary things of this world and to run after the things that will last. With every step I take He confirms that His hand is over me and that I am making the right choice. He is so intimate.

I love you, Lord. I Thank You for all You have given, but I praise You for all You have taken. You are so good.

12 comments:

Tanya said...

Heather, we never ever know what God is going to do with us. But we do neet to get out of the boat. I am so excited to see what He does next for you. Awesome. love ya lots, from Tanya

Mrs. B said...

Well, I have to say - I can't imagine anyone else in our (yours & ours) house, but I know what it is to yearn to be in God's will no matter what! I pray His protection over you and the kiddos and His will to be worked out in your life, in His perfect time.

Funny - I'd love to have that house back :o) It was my favorite too!

Blessings and prayers Sister! Love ya!

Heather said...

@Lori- I know what you mean about imagining anyone else in that house. Word on the street is...the people selling it are willing to take a loss just to 'unload' it. I think they plan on auctioning it off. Makes me a little nervous about who may acquire it. Just thought I would let you know...in case your interested;)

Carol said...

Heather, what a fascinating two-part story! The thing I love the most is how you chose to step out on faith, trusting God, not knowing what the future would hold. As you have done so, other situations are starting to fall into place for you. God is so faithful, and the journey with Him so exciting!

I've been wondering, ever since I started reading your blog last year, when you would be leaving your job, and what you were going to do. As I read these posts, I was trying to guess what was ahead for you. I had it figured out that you probably were offered a staff position at your church...Youth Pastor. Okay, so I was wrong for now.

What kind of classes are you going to be taking? What kind of part time work/assistant work are you going to be doing?

Your life is definitely taking some exciting turns! I'll be checking on you!

Roxanne Kristina said...

Wonderful!

Mrs. B said...

I mentioned it to hubby, but as you well know - we are here for a reason! Every bit of my flesh wants to take all we have in our savings and make a trip back, but with Daniel in bible college, we are perm. here until he is 'sent' somewhere. It makes my heart ache, but it would take a miracle (not saying it's not possible), just not proBable! We'll pray for good people that can be good to it (and to their neighbors (o:)

Susan said...

I am so excited for you. It is fun and scary all at the same time when God leads us out of the boat. I have been on my knees lately asking god to make us uncomfortable for His Kingdom. Marc said we just wait and listen and He will tellus where and when we need to go or stay. I will be praying and I know that you will listen to your wonderful father in Heaven. i am so excited that you will be home with your kiddos.

You are an inspiration to watch. I see how much you Love the Lord.

Love ya, Susan

P.s. Next time I feel the urge to sing my heart out while exercising I'll let ya know.

Heather said...

@Lori- You are exactly where you are supposed to be. I didn't really think you would be rushing back. Plus...I'm excited to see who God brings into the neighborhood. Someone to share His name with:)

Heather said...

@Carol- Hello friend! Well, you weren't completely off. I wasn't offered a position as youth pastor, but I will be taking Christian Ministry classes which will enable me to be a Youth Pastor. Ultimately what I would like to do is Youth Counseling. I am anxious to get started and fulfill the desire God has laid on my heart!

Love ya!

darla said...

Love this post. I know that you will never regret free falling when HE has asked you too. And even though this has all been your dream..wondering...if HE has something in store for you that you just haven't dreamed yet..or maybe we are incapable of dreaming that big! amazing... love you so much!! praying for you Princess!

Sharon said...

Wonderful posts to tell you're story. I to I'm waiting to see where this journey leads. God has wonderful plans for you my precious daughter. You are such an inspiration to the youth and your old mom. I love You to the Moon and back and look for ward to our time together, Mom

Nana C said...

Ms. Heather, you are a delight, and God has you in his family and your earthly family is such a part of his plan for you, the support you get from your friends, (near and far!) well, you know we are excited for you. I posted the Hobo Bread, make it and enjoy the coffee too. I am so happy for you! Love Nana C