Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Dear Eddie....

Do you know that her best friend is Victoria? Vic is one of the very few people that she opens up to completely.
Do you know that kids flock to her? Not just kids she knows, but all kids, random kids in grocery stores.
Do you know that she wants to work with kids? No. Not teaching. She wants to be a children's pastor.
Do you know she is afraid to tell you that because she is afraid you will make fun of her or make her feel as though she is a disappointment?
Do you know that every time she looks at a picture from her 8th birthday she points out the fact that you told her she looked "pregnant" in that dress?
Do you know that your daughter feels like she is second, sometimes third and fourth, in your life?
Do you know that she has cried herself to sleep after getting off the phone with you?
Do you know that she believes that you feel as though she is a "mistake"?
Do you know that her favorite color is purple?
Do you know that she has a great sense of humor?
Do you know that all she has ever tried to do is please you? Even if it meant not being herself!
Do you know that she will spend the rest of her life trying to undo the damage you have done?

Do you know that he is excelling in C.A.P.? He has promoted every 8 weeks and that is very rarely done!
Do you know that he is a hard worker and comes in whenever they call him?
Do you know that he is completely in love with his new nephew and totally spoils him?
Do you know that he loves kids and will be an incredible daddy someday?
Do you know that he has an awesome sense of humor?
Do you know that he loves playing online video games and would love to play with you?
Do you know that choosing to stay with me was one of the hardest decisions he has made?
Do you know that he almost chose to go to USC just because you wanted him to and he wanted to make you happy?
Do you know that when you told him he was no longer your son that it broke his heart?
Do you know that he hates it when you treat him like he is the favorite child?

Do you know that neither one of your kids ever wanted money from you? They simply wanted their dad to love them and be proud of them. Do you know that neither one of them feels that from you?

These are the things that I want to say to you, but can't. It is no longer my place. Our children are adults and this is their battle. The sad thing is....if you were to read this list you wouldn't feel bad, apologize to them or try to change. Instead, you would allow it to be an excuse to cut them out of your life for good. And, I will not give you that excuse!


Lord, You know my heart--and it is hurting for my kiddos. I am thankful that they have a Father in Heaven who loves them no matter what. Every child deserves that kind of unconditional love. Please help Eddie to grow up and be the parent that You have called him to be. And, help me, too. I certainly have made my own share of mistakes. It is only because of You that I am the parent I am today...and I still have lots of work. I pray Eddie finds You, Lord. In the name of Jesus Christ....I pray. Amen....


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