On May 15, 2010 my baby officially graduated high school.
Two weeks later: out of town relatives are gone, decorations are put away, speeches are given, tears have been shed, and life feels like it did prior to that day. But, in my heart, I know life will never be the same.
Samantha is with her dad in California and even though I know she will be home in a few weeks, I also know that it won't be long until she is gone more than she is home and I am still trying to reconcile that thought with my heart--as my heart doesn't seem to quite grasp it, yet. However......I have found myself looking forward to the future lately.
I can't wait to see how God uses her to touch the lives of others through music and the gift of compassion He gave her. I can't wait to see if God will allow us to serve in ministry together. I can't wait to get the phone call when she says "I think I met the man I'm going to marry" and to meet my future son-in-law. And, eventually, I can't wait to meet my grandchildren. I can't wait to see how she handles being a wife and mommy and mostly, I can't wait to see her and her husband train their children in the Lord.
OK. Maybe I can wait, but because we chose to follow the Lord, I can look forward to the future. Generational sins will be broken and my children's lives will look so much different than mine. Because of the Lord there is hope for my future and the future of my children and all our generations to come. Letting go is hard. Even when I know that Sammie was never really mine to begin with, but hope makes letting go so much easier.
I wonder how I would feel if I never knew the Lord? I am guessing my world would feel like the bottom was dropping out of it. Instead, I can mourn the loss of my 'baby' while celebrating the young woman she has grown to be.
Thank You, Lord for allowing me the opportunity to raise this girl of Yours. Help me to consistently hand her over to you as I practice letting her go. Thank You for being eager to rise and show us compassion and for drawing me near to you. I fully understand that our lives have hope because of You and You alone! I love You.