Matters of the Heart

Knowing that Samantha's graduation is drawing near has definitely kept my mind preoccupied. Not only am I busy sending out invitations and planning her party, but I am also trying to squeeze in as much time with her as possible--this includes making sure I have been present at every event she is involved in. Until a couple of weeks ago when God reminded me--I still have two other children that need their mom.

Saturday, April 17th, was a very crazy day for our family. My second eldest daughter, Amber, got married (more about that later), Samantha's prom was that evening, and Josh, who is a member of the Civil Air Patrol, had a Fly In and Promotion Ceremony. Of course the wedding was a priority as I had committed to walking Amber down the aisle and with this prom being Sam's last it was also a priority. When Josh told me about the Fly In I reminded him that I needed to be at prom walk-in's that night. He looked disappointed, but when I asked him if he understood he shrugged and said it was "OK". Apparently it wasn't.

A few days later Josh and I got into an argument over something that should have been no big deal. However, Josh was very angry. He went downstairs and I went after him asking what was wrong. As he gave his book a toss he looked up at me with tears streaming down his face and replied "What does it matter anyway? You didn't even care enough to come to my C.A.P. Promotion!" OUCH! I sat down with him and hugged him. I could have made a thousand excuses, but the truth is--I had failed to recognize the importance of this event in his life because I had been completely consumed with his sister. I continued to hold him as he wept and assured him that I would pay closer attention to the things that matter to him.

I thank God for that moment every time it crosses my mind--which is often. I truly believe God brought Josh and I to that place, at that time. Josh never cries! When he gets upset about something, it typically manifests in the way of anger and we end up in a big argument until he finally tells me what is really bothering him. So, the tears streaming down his cheek stopped me in my tracks. They left me no choice but to really listen to my son's heart. It was tough to hear that I had let him down, but I wouldn't trade that moment for the world.

Thank you, Lord.