My mom reads my blog, so I hesitate in writing this because she is sooooo going to 'freak out'! But...it wouldn't be me if I didn't give her, at least, one thing a day to worry about, so here goes:
I want a baby! I have wanted a baby for the past couple of years, but I have brushed it aside because of, well let's see.....
I am 38 years old, I am physically unable to conceive a child, I am a single mother to 4 children already (including 3 stinky teenagers), I am poor (monetarily speaking), AND.....well....the children God has already given me, let's just say, they can be challenging.
Now, it could be just because I have been blessed to be around quite a few pregnant women (both in the flesh and through the blogosphere) lately and the smell of fresh, newborn baby has lodged itself permanently in my nostrils. However, I believe my desire to have a baby is more than a fleeting thought.
I have been blessed, beyond belief, that God has given me 4 beautiful, precious children (Yes! Even the stinky teenagers:) and I don't want to be selfish. But.....it is definitely the cry of my heart to have more. They don't even have to be babies. Although, a baby would thrill me.
So, God, if you're listening (which I know you are:), may Your will be done.
Sorry mom....it's out of my hands now!
I feel like I need to post a disclaimer letting you all know that my mom is a great woman who has supported (reluctantly at times:) my desire to trust and follow God's plans for my life.
Even when that meant adding another branch to our family tree. BUT.....
She is a mom at heart and always worries when she thinks I am getting in over my head. She has learned over the last 4 years, as I have, that even when it looks like I am drowning, God lifts my head and breathes life into me. Still, she worries! Thank God! She wouldn't be my mom if she didn't.
I love you mom!!!