You know how sometimes you take certain things for granted and you don't even wonder why it's there or how it's made or where it comes from? Well, I found out, the hard way, that you should NEVER do that. It may cause you to look like an idiot. The following is a conversation that took place between my mom, my aunt, and I on Saturday.
My uncle was sitting at the table eating a hamburger with bread and butter pickles. My mom and my aunt began discussing how their moms used to make their own bread and butter pickles and how good they were. Then things went South:
Aunt- 'I used to jar pickles myself. I would just take some cucumbers and.....'
Me- (sitting quietly. With a puzzled look on my face.)
Mom- 'Oh, yea. My mom used take cucumbers and.....'
Me- (Thinking out loud...unfortunately) 'Pickles are made from cucumbers????'
Mom- (the lady who brought me into this world) Laughing! 'Yes! You didn't know that???'
Me- 'NO! I thought pickles were pickles.'
OK. There was lots more to this conversation. ALL at my expense. Like when I asked about the giant pickles at the state fair and my mother replied 'still CUCUMBERS'! And when my mother shouted, literally, while laughing, that I was 38 (which I am NOT, by the way) and I should KNOW what a pickle is! My argument was that the jars don't say 'Pickled Cucumbers' they just say 'Pickles' which is really false advertisement. It leads you to believe that Pickles are different than cucumbers. Doesn't it? I just thought there were pickle vineyards somewhere.
So, I thought surely I can't be the only one who didn't know that. I decided to pick up the cell phone and ask the one person that I knew, for sure, wouldn't know that a pickle is a cucumber...my 11 year old daughter, Jordan:
Me- 'Hi sweetie! What is a cucumber?'
Jordan- 'Um. A vegetable?'
Me- (Yes!!! She obviously has NO idea:) 'Yes. It is. (Confidently) Do you know what else they are?'
Jordan- 'Um. No. Well....yea. They're pickles.'
Me- (Astounded) 'WHAT? How do you know that?'
Jordan- 'Grandpa told me!'
Yea. Apparently my DAD decided to share his wealth of cucumber information with his grandchildren and NOT his daughter. Hmmm. He must have decided to let that tidbit of wisdom skip a generation. Thanks, dad! (insert eye roll here)
I decided to call my kiddo's dad. I can usually dazzle him with my knowledge, so this was a pretty safe call:
Me- 'Hey Eddie. What is a pickle?' (smiling slyly. Waiting to dazzle him with more knowledge)
Eddie- 'A cucumber. Why?'
Me- (Sheepishly and wanting to slide under the table as my aunt and mom are still laughing) 'No reason. Just wanted to know if you knew that.'
Eddie- 'Yea. I knew that. Did you?' (Why did he have to ask that?)
Me- (Really wanting to lie) 'Yea. I know that.............................now'.
Eddie- 'Oh my gosh! You're kidding me. You didn't know that? The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?'
Me- (In the most loving, Christian tone I could muster) 'Shut UP! What do you mean?'
Eddie- 'Well, it's funny you should ask about pickles. I took your daughter to dinner last night and there were cucumbers on her salad. She said she doesn't like cucumbers so I asked her if she liked pickles. She said 'Yea. why?' I told her that pickles were made from cucumbers and she couldn't believe it.'
OK. Well, maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but nobody can blame me for not teaching her. I can't teach what I don't know..........MOM AND DAD!
After that I decided to call my daughter, Amber. She was my last hope. Um. Yea. All hope is gone. She knew, too. I hung up before she could really make fun of me.
Really. Still astonished. Who knew cucumbers were pickles? Did YOU? (Praying. Right now. That there is ONE of YOU who did not know this).
Oh, and when you get done rolling on the floor, try to remember to be kind with your comments. I am still in shock over this whole thing. Really. I am.