Crossroads. What a word. I love the mental picture that comes with that word. Four roads. One leads forward, one leads to the right, the other to the left, and one leads....backwards. Right back to where you have just come from. The funny thing about that particular road is that while most of us will spend the majority of our lives trying desperately not to travel it again, there are many people who will become 'stuck' on this road. Not because it is a smooth road, but because it is a familiar road and often times an easier road. They will attempt to move forward and sideways, but in the end they will choose to go..........backwards. My daughter is one of those people.
Today, I stand, much like the man in the photograph, in the middle of a dusty road trying to figure out which path to take. The only road that I know I absolutely cannot take is the road that leads.......backwards. I am not one of those people.
I am struggling to hear His voice. I know He is speaking, but I am too emotionally caught up to know, without a doubt, that it is His voice and not the voice of the enemy who, incidentally, seems to have taken up permanent residence in my home. I have prayed for God to reveal His path for me, through others, as there is no room for mistakes. I absolutely cannot be out of His will! There are lives that will be changed for better or worse depending on the path I take. I love those lives too much to take any chances.
The word 'sacrifice' has been playing over and over in my mind like a broken record. There are too many ways this word could apply to this situation. I hesitate to try and 'guess' which meaning is accurate. What I do know to be truth is sometimes you must sacrifice one lamb to save the flock. God sacrificed His one and only Son. Is He asking me to sacrifice one of my own?
For now, I have decided to walk the path directly in front of me. I have named this path....Hope. I will stay on this path until God directs me to change course. I firmly believe that path will be named Peace and it is on that 'ancient path' that I know I will find 'rest for my soul'.
3 comments:
I believe hope is the best path to take. When we take this path everything else will fall into place and I believe that Peace will be knocking at your door before you know it.
Don't give up! He gave her to YOU because He knew you could do it and would lean on Him to get through it. Think back to this age and just remember...imagine how hard it would have been without YOUR mom. She needs you.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; be not frightened, neither be dismayed; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
Lori,
Thanks for the encouragement. That verse in Joshua is one of my favorites.
Unfortunately, hanging in there may not be an option. Many things have happened that I can't/won't go into on here. It is getting down to this: Do I sacrifice the well being of my biological children to keep this child in my home? That is the 'crossroad' I am at. My biological children are at risk....especially Jordan. More than that...the risk is intentional by my other child.
Please just keep us in prayer. We definitely need it.
Thanks again for the love and encouragement. I know you understand.
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