Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Letting Go. Part 972.

Samantha arrived home from her Missions Trip in Colorado. Thank you for your prayers! God heard them and there were blessings abound!

Timberline Lodge is where they worked and stayed. It is nestled in the beautiful Colorado Rockies. Not only is it a lodge, but it is also a Bible College. Many of the 'former' teens from our church attended Timberline prior to making a decision about which 'formal' college they would attend. Since Timberline has blessed so many of our youth, our Youth Director, Connie, decided it was time to bless them. 5 adults and 9 teens worked from sun up to sun down to get many, various projects completed. The staff at Timberline was amazed at the amount they accomplished for such a small group and everybody's health was PERFECT!

In addition to working, the teens were also challenged both physically and Spiritually. One of the physical challenges was a 5 mile hike. Now, Samantha is not 'outdoorsy'. She is like her mom. And frankly, the thought of a 5 mile hike scared her. However, when she returned...it was one of her favorite things about the trip. She made it. She was one of the last ones to the top, but she made it and she felt good about it! She said that the pain of the hike was worth the reward of accomplishing it! (YES! :) She brought an application back home with her and very much plans on attending Timberline after high school. This had already been her plan, but this trip confirmed her desire.

She didn't miss me. As a matter of fact, she was sad to be home and I came to a realization: She is spreading her wings in preparation to fly. The little girl who used to ask if she could live with me forever, who used to call me crying when she would spend a night away from me, is now a young woman who is anxiously awaiting the day she begins a new chapter in her life.....without me.

The mom in me is torn. I am so happy for her as I truly thought she would never leave my side, but I am so sad because I truly thought she would never leave my side. My heart aches with pain and swells with joy at the same time. What an honor to be her mom. What a privilege to watch her grow up. What a struggle to let her go. I fight the urge to not make her feel guilty when she seems ecstatic to leave and go to college. Sometimes I lose that battle. I don't mean to. I just can't help it.

Have I told you lately.....................


LETTING GO STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Yea. I know. Only about 972 times!)

I love her soooo much, yet He loves her more. I can't imagine. And the one thing that gives me nothing but pure joy is to know that she is leaving me to serve Him. Before she knew Him....she wanted to live with me forever. Before she knew Him......she was scared of everything. He has given her strength, hope, and, whether she realizes it or not, confidence. It's because of Him she feels as though she can fly. And...........

It's because of Him I will feel more joy than pain when the time comes for me to truly let go.

You are soooo good!

7 comments:

Robin said...

Beautiful post...something I dread in my own world one day down the road, but I know its the way life goes... You will have to counsel me then...

You are an amazing mom and you have incredible children! Great job Heather!

Robin said...

Have you heard the song by Mark Harris (I think) Find Your Wings (I think) - your post made me think of it. It's one of the songs on my blog on the music player. I'm going to ask a friend from my church to sing it for my baby's dedication.

Susan said...

I know it is hard for you to let go but from the outside she is turning into such a beautiful young woman and God has great plans for her. I will be right where you are someday and I will be looking for people like you for advice.

Tanya said...

I can not even imagine what my children would be facing if they did not know Him. I am so glad that God captured us and that my children will be looking to Him for all of their needs and wants. He is good. I am so glad that she is facing God now and not later. She is going to be an awesome servant for God. Love Tanya

Indian Lake Papa said...

You never let go - they will always be there - in your heart, mind and soul!

Lori... said...

Ok, you just made me cry...I'm all teary as I type this! Sam is a beautiful young woman - she is destined for greatness - ALL your children are, even those that seem not to be right now! The seeds have planted deep and the soil has been watered well! They will all do great things in HIS name!

Anonymous said...

Heather, What a great post, I know it has been on your mind. I can't imagine not having her around everyday, miss her so much in the summer. But she does have great things ahead of her. She has truly grown this summer and we are so proud of the person she is, you have done a wonderful job helping her be able to spread her wings and follow him. Love you to the moon and back Mom